Originally Posted by koifish
They all say they are sad and disappointed and question why we are getting are getting married, even. They say the idea of our marriage has really been tarnished in their eyes and that when we have people come to our wedding who don't know about our third, that we are lying to them and betraying them. One of them said she specifically does not want our third at the wedding.
May I ask, who is "they all".... You were talking about your parents, how many parents are we talking about here?
( do'nt get me wrong, I have 4+inlaws, I'm just trying to keep it all straight, not be sarcastic or obnoxious)
You COULD have a smaller ceremony if that is what you want.
It's this simple:
THIS IS YOUR SPECIAL DAY.
Stop your mind for a few minutes (meditate if that helps).
Now, picture in your mind what you would like for that day
(without considering the current drama)
The current drama does NOT warrant changing something this important to you. Your personal desires (with fiance) should be the deciding factor of how the wedding is handled.
EVERY bride has a drama before the wedding-I swear. (check out the msn message boards, you can read pages and pages of other people's dramas over their weddings) because EVERYONE wants to put their own spin on the expectations.
BUT-it's not EVERYONE's wedding, it's yours and his. Period. End of topic. As a significant other your girlfriend may have a sayso (I don't know the specifics of your dynamic); but no one else does-unless YOU CHOOSE TO LET THEM.