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Old 03-30-2011, 04:06 PM
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 718

Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
@ MrFarFromRight, I understand why you wouldn't like D/s if you're against any power and any one being hierarchically higher than anyone else, period. I mean, that basically means being against the concept of a president or prime minister, a boss in a company, a manager... I personally don't get it.
Exactly. What I didn't mention under "among other things" is that I'm an Anarchist. (This word seems to conjure up for most US citizens - those who have even heard of it - a guy dressed in black with a bomb hidden under his cloak. And then there are those [mainly young] people who call themselves Anarchists, believing that it means "Destroy the System: We're against everything! No rules! Everybody can go fuck themselves!") I don't believe in presidents or prime ministers. They tell pretty lies to get people's votes and then they take the country into wars that nobody wants. (GWBush and Tony Blair are today both being lucratively bankrolled by Big Oil - "Thanks for the huge profits, guys!") Etc. etc. etc. And on a work level, I'd much rather work in a cooperative than in a company with a boss or a manager.

I don't really want to take this debate too far. As I said before, different strokes for different folks. It's just that I feel that we've been indoctrinated into either wanting power over others or wanting to run from responsibility. [See Erich Fromm's "The Fear of Freedom"] And this is what real Anarchism is: the refusal to allow anyone power over you but at the same time the refusal to wield power over others. To take full responsibility for your own life.

It'll never catch on.

So in answer to
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Emotional healing thru an inequal power exchange is quite common. "Good" Masters are interested in their sub's healing and emotional growth.
I'd say that healing is possible in all kinds of circumstances, but a hierarchical healer/"sick patient" situation often leads more to patching over symptoms than true healing. If a doctor tells me what to do, what medicine to take, instead of talking over my case with me so that we reach a better understanding, I have my doubts. (So I prefer going to holistic healers, "alternative" medicine.)

BTW, Magdlyn, I loved your:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Temper, temper! I think you need a spanking.
Had me laughing quite a while.

To get back to the healer/"sick patient" thing: there's a famous writer (highly recommended) called Alice Miller. [By googling that, I've just discovered that she died last year. What a loss to Child Psychology!] She used to be a psychotherapist... until she realised that psychotherapy actually maintains the status quo: it keeps people from healing and spirals into codependency. So she resigned her membership in the Swiss and the International Associations for Psychotherapy.
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
But BDSM is about more than D/s. You also have BD and SM. And these aren't necessarily about power. You could think that being blindfolded is about power, but it could be about not being able to see so you can focus on your other senses and have a more intense experience.
I'm hardly an expert on BDSM terminology or techniques. But personally I would not consider being blindfolded to constitute bondage. I agree with you 100% about helping to focus on your other senses. I once went to The Tate Gallery (a famous London art museum) when they had an exhibition "Art For The Blind". Because touching, feeling the pieces of art was encouraged, everybody had to wash their hands at the entrance. [One patron insisted that he wouldn't be touching anything, so there was no need for him to wash his hands. When the curator insisted, the patron walked off in a huff.] Although the museum didn't suggest it, my friend and I wanted to get into the whole idea of "Art For The Blind" and took turns closing our eyes and being led to the next piece, feeling without seeing. If I'd had a blindfold, I certainly would have put it on.

This next bit might seem very far-fetched. But I remember that almost every time that my father spanked me, he told me: "Now I'm doing this because I love you." And then there's that Bible verse (Proverbs 13:24): Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. I honestly wonder how many people from religious homes came to equate love with pain.

Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
I mean, we all spend our lives hoping for others to make decisions for us.
I know that the vast majority are/were brought up to hope for this. And I'm no exception. But I'm trying to move as far away from that as possible.
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