I just wanted to say that I wasn't being judgmental at all. Obviously I'm okay with polyamory.....I'm having a great deal of enjoyment from my polyamorous life!! I'm just saying that maybe it's time to "come out" of the closet so to speak. If it's what you want, just admit it!!! You could start by admitting it to yourself first. Then, maybe you could admit it to us. Then, after that, you can decide how to proceed. Good thoughts and wishes!!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.