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Old 03-29-2011, 04:14 AM
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lotheriel79 lotheriel79 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station
Posts: 24
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Now my poly life is changing and I am having a hard time dealing with it.
He will be seeing her on his own.
Meanwhile I have been looking for a new set of arms to hold me and keep ME from falling apart, but it has not gone well for me. Could be that i still love THEM and do not really desire anyone other than them. Makes it hard to be appealing to anyone when you are back in the dating scene after 15 years... the fact that you really do not want to be on the dating scene.

So now tomorrow I will have to find a way to disappear for a few hours in this small little town of ours so they two people I love can be happy.

But in all honesty I am not happy. I can be held by him all night long, but I will be alone tomorrow, and part of my triangle- my happy little triangle will be together- But I will not be wanted or needed there.

I am too new to this life. I do not know how to proceed. I was Mono until the triad- now I have neither. I am Poly and there is no turning back, but I am still alone, and that was what appealed to me about this aspect of poly anyway- never being alone. How did it end up like this?

THIS is NOT what I wanted. THIS is not according to the plan.

How does anyone deal with being the one pushed out?
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