I just wanted to share an experience that happened this Saturday morning, that has moved us deeper into a poly relationship.
My 3 children were at my brothers place for the weekend, so my wife and I made plans to get out of town for the weekend.. Drive into the country, get a decent hotel room and order room service, go dancing etc. That type of thing.
I picked her up at OG's at around 9 AM Saturday morning. OG met me at the door and invited me in for breakfast.. At first it felt uncomfortable, but I decided to push through the discomfort. It wasn't long until I was completely at ease. While my wife was in the shower, OG prepared breakfast and we talked.. Mainly sports.. But OG also came across as an expert in my line of work (immigration law). Much of the conversaton, even after my wife joined us for breakfast was about my career. He seemed well informed. My wife latter told me that OG takes a real interest in people, and one time she mentioned to him what I did for a job, and next time she saw him he had been reading about it.. I admit, maybe this is self centred for me to say, but this helped me to warm up to him.
Near the end of breakfast, in a very natural way , the conversation turned to my wife and OG's relationship. It wasn't forced or insensitive, just natural feeling. It was the first time we all actually discussed it together. It felt comfortable.. OG repeated a few times, that he and my wife want to go at a pace that I am comfortable with.. This comforted me... They then explained to me about whrre they were at with everything.
According to them, about 3 weeks ago they had "fluid bonded" (I don''t really know what that means). They had fluid bonded both orally and in the traditional way (vaginal/penetratiive).. They said that this was a very intense experience for them both, and since this started my wife had been wanting to talk to me about adding OG into our life in a deeper way.
My wife and I already agreed that until my youngest child (8 years old) has moved out, we will not disrupt the living arrangements by moving out of our house or moving someone in. OG understands this, and seems fine with it. My wife says that since fluid bonding with OG, she is starting think of him as not just a boyfriend or a secondary, but as a life partner who she is every bit as committed to as she is with me. Because of this, she feels that if OG were connected to the family that it would aid in normalizing their relationshp, both in my mind, in the minds of our children and every one else in our lives.
We agreed that an initial first step would be to have OG over every other Wednesday during family night at our place. This Wednesday OG is coming over for the night, where we will be ordering in pizza, eating popcorn and watching Tangled together.. OG even suggested that he bring the Pizza, as if that might help the children to indentify with him as one of the group... The purpose of this night is NOT be another date for my wife and OG, but rather as a bonding experience for my family and OG... I feel comfortable with this.. I am not prepared to have him over EVERY family night, but every other family night would be infrequent enough for me to feel comfortable, but frequent enough to help my wife and OG's relationship become more normalized in the minds of my children... Does this make sense?
There is one more thing I wanted to discuss about Saturday morning. I think I had my first moment of compersion, but as I am at work and this post is getting long, I shall post about this latter today.. Thank you.
Last edited by CaptainKIDD23; 03-28-2011 at 01:55 PM.
Reason: Poor wording and spelling mistakes