yeah - I think that sort of behaviour is pretty crap.
Sorry Ray - I don't see how you really could have had a win here, even a little one. It sounds like you were in a fairly difficult situation, with some unreasonable expectations on O's part. And that it's only now that O is mentioning this "incident" was a problem ! What ???
And I can only imagine how hard it would be to have to hide your feelings away. When we care for someone - It's actually quite nice to show the world that we are happy....to share that with the people who care for us, and the people we socialise with - I'd find that very difficult.
It might be good to take a step away from email contact just for a while?
You're right - He does believe his logic is reasonable and rational. That doesn't mean other people would see it that way, and it doesn't mean it is logical, reasonable or rational..
It's great if we can manage to remain friends with an ex - But we don't have to - especially if we feel we've been treated poorly, or with disrespect.
I choose not to remain friends with a couple of my ex partners because of this. If there was a point in time where they took some responsibility, well - that would open the friendship door.
So if I felt someone threw me to the wolves, would I want to be friends with them ?