Originally Posted by dub1h
Has my perception of polyamory been jaded? Did my ex hurt me with how she went about it?
Sounds like it.
Life is full of compromises. I am NOT in a poly relationship and if feels like we are in constant negotiations. I have 2 kids both heavily involved in activities and my husband has his own activities. There are big blow out fights on occassion, because something was not put on the calendar or the calendar was not check prior to committing to something else. Sometimes I think my husbands activities qualify as a second family.
Let me tell you COMMUNICATION is absolute key in any parntership! Whether it's keeping your partner informed of schedules, situations and activities or letting your partner know your needs.
For example: My husband is super involved in Boy Scouts so if I just told him that I want to go camping, he would say, "OK, the next trip is in 2 weeks, join us." I have to be specific, "I want to go camping with just our immediate family, just the 4 of us, no scouts, no other families (he has been know to invite others with out discussing it with me).
What would be the benefit of a mono person dating someone who was poly?
That would depend on the mono, the poly and the situation. There is no one answer. Not all mono's are going to be hit with the same jealousy issues and even poly folk face jealousy. I do think that life situations (age, health, work, family, religon, etc) play an enourmous role in ones ability to accept a poly partner or not.