stuck and confused too
I've never been in a polyamorous relationship before. Basically I came out as poly with my wife about six months ago. Prior to, we had discussed it some, but I was still too unsure to commit to being truly different.
Now we are in a bit of a tough spot because we love each other, but she is defiantly monogamous, and I am more sure I am poly by the day.
Brining a man or a women into our relationship is something she is willing to do for the sake of allowing me to have what works for me. Basically she feels as long as I am willing to maintain a mostly monogamous relationship, she is willing to be somewhat sexually promiscuousness.
At first this seemed like a great breakthrough, but now I feel it is a temporary solution for a more difficult problem. In our relationship the only thing that has happened physically was kind of like a couples foursome, but the only ones doing anything was my wife and the other women.
Us men were friends and sort of respected each others space and girlfriends in bed. Plus we were all drinking so the whole situation was not very deliberate.
I have come out to very few people and am struggling with being honest with myself about being different.