Freetime, you definitely do not sound like you are playing the victim or martyr!! You are indeed coming across as very human and real. I am so happy for you that you and T. discussed the situation further and came up with some workable boundaries. Lessons learned, eh? And ain't that what life's about?
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein