Sometimes I'm slow.
My marriage is over. I realized tonight while lying in bed that stay together or not, my marriage as I know it, is done. It has been for awhile, it just took me until now to see it. The day T decided that she was poly was the day this union ended. Our vows are null and void. I've taken off my ring as the promise it represented is no longer valid. I'm all over the place emotionally, ups, downs you name it I'm feeling it. I just can not seem to find a fucking balance for long. I have experienced feeling really strong and truly happy for the first time in a long time but I can't hold onto it. This is so......Frustrating.
T made it clear that I've talked, babbled or rambled on about this far to much, so I'm just going to shut up and try to work this out on my own.
And just to make my day perfect, I'm getting a gut, not a big one but it bothers me. T looks like a Hotwife fantasy come true, and I look like shit. One more thing for me to work on, because I just don't have enough to clean up, fix, look at, deal with as it is.
I should have stayed in the basement.