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Old 03-26-2011, 01:11 AM
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TheBlackSwede TheBlackSwede is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 150
Default The Chronicles of TheBlackSwede Continue...

...from such previous threads as:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3675

and

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4446

To the current situation... which I'm about to share with you

We have all, as a family, moved back to the West Coast. We took the drive together, wife, dog, and little boy, all in my truck, towing a u-haul trailer. We made a vacation of it, and in many ways, it was the most fun we've had in years. I was giddy about coming home again, about leaving DC behind, and in that cathartic way that sometimes change can be so exhilarating, I almost felt like I was teenager again. The open road, the V8 engine chugging along, my own two hands and busted knuckles doing repairs and maintenance to keep it alive, experiencing so many new things for the first time, all together. We drove through the South, saw New Orleans, ate Crawdads, basked on a pristine beach in Florida... Its times like those that I could never imagine not having a family, not having a partner, not being a father.

We haven't really BEEN Poly for months... when I came back from my extended stay, I tried dating a new woman, but things didn't work out. The next lady I tried to date flaked on me, and I kinda stopped caring. She didn't look for a new lover because she didn't want me to feel like I was being left out, which, though sweet, was un-necessary (but still appreciated).

Once we were back in CA, she wondered if I'd see my previous lover, N, now that we were back. I told her I wasn't in a rush, and I'm not. A week or so after our return, we bumped into her at the Farmers Market, but G slipped away while I said hi, and avoided meeting her, which made me sad - N is a friend more than a lover, and I'm perfectly happy to keep our relationship as friendship; that's more important to me than sex. I asked her why, and G said that she just wasn't sure if she was ready to meet another of my ladies yet. I understood, and still do. All things in time. Later, she expressed to me that she missed having a lover, a sentiment that I echoed.

It wasn't long after we got back that job offers came in for me, but all were in Los Angeles, as I expected. What I do isn't exactly dependable or consistent, but it pays well, so I took a gig and went up there to work, coming home to see my family on the days off. While I was there, I finally got around to updating my OKC account, listing LA as my new location. Much to my surprise, I got a pretty good amount of interest within only a few days of doing this. One lady seemed particularly interesting and beautiful, so we decided to meet, that same night. It was very spur of the moment, and as she's a few years younger than me, I expected as much.

We met for dinner and drinks, bar-hopping (myself being careful not to drink too much, despite the flowing of Scotch, the booze I can scarcely say no to) a bit. Each time she excused herself to the ladies room to freshen up, she presented me with a new napkin with her lipstick on it, and I kept these. We have chemistry, L and I. We have a lot in common as well, and her and G have more in common than I think either would want to admit... I was of course completely open and honest with both of them, and despite L's insistance that there would be no hanky-panky, and my own lack of expectation, we made love late into the night.

Sheepishly, I snuck home to my friends' house on the West Side where I had been staying (we're not 'out' yet, so our friends don't know), and managed about 2 hours' sleep before another long day of work, this time with friends on their own pet-project, which I had stayed past finishing my previous gig to aid with. Meeting a potential new lover was icing on the cake! As the day wore on, L and I texted covertly; she wanted to cook me dinner that night, and wanted to see me again badly. I did as well. Finally, I headed over at about 10PM, we ate, talked, made love... and damn, the lady can cook! Not as good as G, but I was impressed. This time I brought my mandolin - I played music, she painted. It was so... Bohemian. I left feeling like I was 20 years old again, though an exhausted 20 years old, as I'm actually 30, and was managing all this on 2 hrs. sleep and numerous 14+ hr work days.

I made it back to my friends' house at a reasonable hour, slept like a baby, and banged out a solid day's work the next day, kicking ass and taking names like I haven't done in years, using skills I haven't USED in years. Seems the Old Silverback still knows a thing or two.

Headed back home to my family that night, very happy to be home, and among them. Dealt with a sick kid sunday through now, and a somewhat insecure G. I think she still has issues with me having feelings for another person; it's far too early to know whether or not I love L, the answer for now is, "not yet", and she doesn't like it. I've told her that I can't predict the future, and that my heart will do as it pleases whether I tell it one thing or another - but what I do know, is that my love for her will remain, firm as bedrock, and eclipsing all other feelings I have save those towards my child, until my dying day. I don't know if I'll fall in love with L... but I think it could happen. I'm definitely twitterpated though.

I haven't had work all week, and L is missing me... G doesn't want me to go up there just to see her... and this early on, I guess I can understand that. But I'm hoping I get more work, soon, and not just because we could use the money.

Thanks for reading. More to come as it happens. Feels good to get this out somewhere. Hope you all are well.

-Svart

Last edited by redpepper; 04-10-2012 at 08:57 PM.
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