And whoa, look out -- bi polys bring a whole different dimension to the mix, there is still jealousy there, I've seen it here on the forum. You may think it's all about the penis, but you'd be surprised!
It's odd -- my husband has no problem with the other penis*, it's the emotional intimacy that shakes him to the core. Incidentally -- our latest BIG conflict stemmed from my first "date" with the bf, even though we'd been sleeping with each other (husband approved) for 5 months! He saw the date as "wrangling" (if you search "cowboys" on here you'll see what I mean) -- but that's not what it was at all. I said if we are friends with benefits, it can't just be the benefits! Going out for a beer together was the FRIEND part. Freaked the hubby out. He panicked that the bf was "wooing" me. We are working on some new arrangements that he will feel more comfortable with. Because the last thing the bf wants is to cause conflict in our marriage. He really loves and respects my husband. Sometimes I fear he loves him more than me! Actually, THAT is a terrific feeling. I feel safe when these two men respect one another. It validates my good taste in men
*OMG that looks weird in print! Haha!