You folks ask tough questions, you won't let me slide at all here will you?
II wrote: Question time:
Why do you feel a need to be 'the one' having a great night with T? If she went out for girls night with her friends, and has a great night carrying on with them, do you feel jealousy when that happens? If you're at a party and she gets talking to an old friend, girl folk, or new friend, does that cause jealousy? If it's YeHaw week and she has an out of body experience on the Gravitron while you're eating mini-donuts, does that cause jealousy?
You're absolutely right in that if T was out with friends I'd be fine with it. But as soon as she's out with a guy?Not so much, and that's what's bothering me here, it's a guy. Not a girl. Why can't T be Bi and have a girlfriend? that'd be so much easier to deal with. (Ok, that's my fantasy voice taking over, I'm back now.)
Where was I? Right The guy thing. Why does that bother me? Why do I treat this differently? Why do I start feeling jealous of ts activities because she's with a penile life support system instead of another woman?.......dunno. Just do. And I'd like not to.
II wrote: I guess the question here is what do you think you're doing that might be 'wrong', and why would it be 'wrong'?
Hmmmmm what I"m trying to say here is that I don't know what I should be doing here II. How much more do I have to do? When this got started I signed on here, and got busy.I've worked to overcome any of my old emotional/mental shit that might get in the way of Ts journey and continue to do so. I've paid attention to everything you and the others have said and have done what I can to implement your suggestions. I've helped screen the candidates online, provided security on her date, and continue to be open to this new Idea called Poly.
But it seems that everyday I come up against or experience something I don't understand. Am I whining? Maybe. I just wish I had something to ground me when I start feeling uneasy or afraid. This board is all I have right now, You folks are it.
II wrote:Finally, if you don't think you're having fun, and it seems like a lot of work, despite all the advantages that you mentioned above...what would be? What do you think it should look like? What would be 'fun'? How do you envision that, and how is it different than what happened last night?
This, my friend is something I have to think about, you're not cutting me any slack here, are you?
redpepper wrote:It sounds like there is some self confidence stuff going on for you... are you wondering if your wife has lost interest in you? That you are the steady guy here for the long haul and not the fun new guy? Or is your jealousy towards him about the fact that you wish you could date again and have that exhilarating moment of meeting someone new?
Hmmmmmm, I wanted to be the guy last night who was having a great time with my wife, not sitting by myself watching her have a good time. the last part of your reply makes me uncomfortable, very much so. What am I really jealous of here? Fuck me, now I have something else to look at.
Sigh, why couldn't T just want a puppy?