Originally Posted by Tonberry
Also, I should add that the one friend I vented to who wasn't a friend in common never repeated anything to him and never tried to defend him. So if you have to vent at all, I think someone who doesn't know anything about the situation is actually the better choice. They'll let you just say whatever you want and when you're done they'll think nothing of it.
I have found that it is extremely important that each of us NEEDS friends that are NOT joint friends. We need people that we can vent to and know that what we say won't get back to the person we are mad at and when things have worked themselves out, we don't want what we said to have damaged the friendship between our loved one and the person we vented to.
A while back, things were happening in my marriage that nearly ended it. I had to litterally remove myself from our circle of friends. It was then that I realized all of my friends were either joint friends or he had constant dealings with due to his activities. I couldn't bring myself to ruin those relationships by giving voice to our dirty laundry, because he would still have to have dealings with everyone. Now I'm on the lookout for a few close friends that aren't my husbands friends first.