I'm troubled by how quickly he became comfortable with taking the lead so all encompassingly. It is not a long standing condition of this relationship and definitely not how we formed our dynamic. It became this way over the winter when I began to deal with depression. Could 3 months really train him to feel all Mr. Fix It so solidly? I really felt prior to that we were on equal footing. Perhaps me discovering so many of the rules he wanted in place were aimed at protecting me rather than just a wise way to roll for us both means he has felt Mr. Fix It for longer than I've noticed.
I only wonder about it being a surprise because the statement was "don't ruin it
by telling her". It implies I will know of it eventually. Since I've had three surprise parties planned for me in my life and caught wind of it all three times, ruining the fun for the planners, I don't want to do it again.
I guess I was hoping for it to be a trust building thing to wait patiently and see how it unfolds. And I was hoping for it to be about a surprise for me so it could end up being a bonding thing for her and I. But you're right, what I hope isn't going to make it so.