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Old 03-25-2011, 05:29 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 373


At least once a day now I'm getting the pouty statement that I'm all independent now and don't want my husband doing anything for me. Which isn't true; I've only asked that he doesn't take on a managerial role and undermine my decisions when I've clearly made one and it doesn't affect him. Nothing much has changed except I'm back to being decisive about normal day to day stuff and I took on a part time job outside of the home in a field I'm pretty passionate about. We haven't even had a sit down re examination of the rules so I don't see how this is a result of some change in rules making him worry about me. I've not refused his help with anything. But I'm getting the guilt trip. I say quit guilt tripping me and get the "I'm just teasing".

And then today. I tell him I'm intending to start a new project for a paying client. No asking for advise. No "what do you think I should do?"
And he starts questioning me about the wisdom of doing this project rather than working on an on going one I'm not getting paid for. I restate myself and get told what he thinks would be the smarter thing to do. Great. I've chosen to do the not smart thing and only after I get pissy does he back peddle and tell me to do what I want.
This stupid dance. I'm left feeling like he liked it better when I was indecisive and when I stressed about these particular rules and how his new association might conflict with them. I don't want to believe he was comforted in some way when I was indecisive and depressed, but damn!

New Girl and I have begun volleying messages back and forth in an attempt to get to know each other better while she is still out of town. Lots of CCing between us all. I got sent something I'm pretty sure neither of them intended to share with me. It contained a conversation about something she offered to get while she was out of town BEFORE all this and he asks her to not tell me about it. I don't know what the something is, but it bugs me the idea that I need to be kept in the dark about it. Is it wrong of me to wait and see if I'm to be included in it eventually rather than questioning them about what it is? Like what if its a surprise they are planning FOR me and I ask, ruining it? And also, won't it lend me a clearer idea of what to expect out of all this if I say nothing and I'm never brought in on it?

Why do I get the feeling like many things are going on behind the scenes that I'm not in on "for my own good"?
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