I am usually kinder and gentler than this, but I'm pretty pissed.
I've been reading along and the PMS comment, among a whole bunch of other things, leads me to draw the conclusion that her husband is a manipulative asshole and the OP is playing the doormat.
I mean it. He's an asshole. Sometimes this is a treatable condition, but often not because the asshole is frequently incapable of recognizing his or her own condition.
The PMS comment was belittling, nasty, and manipulative. It's fucking dehumanizing. It's fucking abusive.
I mean, maybe, just maybe I am misreading the situation, but it sounds like the husband has all the power, and the wife just rolls over and lets him treat her like her opinions don't matter.
And when she tries to stand up for herself, he makes up reasons why her opinions are unworthy of consideration and undermines her self-esteem (which sounds feeble to start with) and her sense of self-worth.
Despicable. And the OP will probably just keep taking it.
This makes me feel depressed and angry.
I now return you to more reasonable discourse, already in progress.
Hinge of a V relationship with my husband (Thumper) and boyfriend (T-Rex). Also, mother of a 6 y/o girl by my husband.
My poly story begins here
. Now with new blogging