Thanks so much you guys for your input, comments and suggestions. Greatly appreciated! I don't know where and who exactly to respond to. I wish I could paint y'all a picture of life here. I mean yes it is rural here but the mindset of "most" people is well I hate saying this because it makes me sound bad, but it's ignorance (because most people here were born and raised here present company included), and they don't like anything new, different, outside of the box...and then they are very redneck. I mean tobacco spitting, coon hunting' good ol country boys...lol just a fun fact...the movie Deliverance with Burt Reynolds was filmed about 20 miles from my house!!! haha...So, I see so many intelligent comments here that I whole heartily agree with! But, like the suggestions about asking my husband and telling him what I need or experiment with...He just wouldn't go for that. The way marriage around here is viewed is you marry your high school or college sweetheart, get pregnant right away, stay home if your lucky and raise them until they go to school, then have more or get a job at a bank...(that is the big time job here)...lol I am sorry I make this place seem stupid..but I am so SICK of small minded people! whew...ok breath...lol
I don't feel comfortable tell or asking my hubby all this stuff...for one he is extremely homophobic, and two he would accuse me of wanting to cheat on him. He See's marriage as one man and one woman only, b/c that is how we grew up and what church says about it.
I don't know who my parents swapped me with but I have never felt part around here! lol I am actually quite intelligent and it is hard to get my thoughts and points across to a husband that doesn't understand me...
I think there was a question about does he love me or control...Ask my friends they would say...very loudly...CONTROL..but I know he thinks he loves me but he is very controlling. I don't think he values me as a person. he compliments my mothering and wifey skills and he does still find me attractive, but I wonder if its not just easier than having to get out there at our age and start over!
I wish I could talk to him and he wouldn't get mad and sulk around for a couple of days. I usually do keep my wants inside and I guess they come out in dreams and my writing.
Oh and about the triad versus vee...Im totally thinking triad. I totally find the idea of the MM in the MFM relationship exciting and sweet at the same time.
About this community...I only speak for those I know and have been here since I have been...all our lives. I crave knowledge and learning about new things but it seems most people here would rather let life pass them by and stay in their small bubble.
Oh, and about traveling...my husband doesn't like to travel or fly. he said he will never leave the usa...
Just an example: I have recently learned I like to be spanked...or thought I would like it...So I hinted and told him to go ahead and do it (while having sex) he would lightly pat...it took over 6 months to get him to do it hard enough to feel! He said all the things I wanted to experiment with (blindfold, handcuffs, whip, etc) he just wasn't comfortable doing. I appreciate his honesty, but what about me? I guess thats selfish, but do I just push that aside b/c he isn't into it? (See where a third would be greatly appreciated!)lol