Hi everyone! I am mrspolycurious and I am new....Yes, I feel like I'm in a "AA meeting" or something! lol I don't know if I'm "coming out" or just fed up with denying what I want. A little about me; married with children (mostly grown), I am 41 and feel like in my prime. Very active and young looking and acting. I have worked in various fields from banking to office and hair stylist. I am a stay at home writer of erotica and this leads me to my fascination if you will with Polyamory. I had researched several sites as I was writing my first book and became intrigued with triad relationships. I began reading everything I could get my hands on about loving triads and or quads...etc....
So, for the past few years I have been actually "craving" this loving type of relationship! Could it just be my very over-active writers imagination running rampant? Well, yes, of course but you see I also believe I dream about future events...not world shattering but things that are about my life. Since I was a small girl I have had dreams you know about small things...painting something, seeing someone I hadn't seen in a while, etc...that came true.
Anyway off subject a little but it correlates. So, I started having dreams of two different men. Very vivid dreams nothing sexual mind you..
well, sometimes they were..lol, but we were doing wild things like running from enemies...running from tornados..etc! and yes I see I am always running in my dreams and I realize I have been running from my feelings...yada yada yada...
But these dreams I guess stayed with me into my waking conscious and have embedded into my every thought. Not really the dreams but the guys. I see them their faces and I don't know them..but I want to find them.
AND, like I said, I am married and he DOES NOT SHARE! We have been married for many years and we have grown WAY apart, but he will not change or let me go easily. He is old school, vanilla sex, etc...and I am...NOT. I have always done what was expected of me...married the HS sweetheart, raised the kids, stayed for the kids..etc...but now I want something different.
I want my two other halves. I feel great that I can type this and hopefully not be condemned here in this forum! Maybe they are not out there but what if they are. I promise I am NOT CRAZY!! LMAO..well not enough to count anyway! haha...
I just would like some feedback on my circumstance. I kn ow it kinda sounds as if I am basing my outlook on my lifestyle on a dream or several dreams...but I have dreamed about these guys for many years before I found out about polyamory. It has all just kinda meshed together.
Would I stay with my husband if he was into being polyamorous with me? I don't know. We have had a lot of strife in our relationship and I really am just done! I am just waiting around for the right opportunity to come my way so I could become independent from him.
Ok...I guess that's a lot to say on a first post, but I had to get it all..well, most of this out of me!
Any helpful suggestions??
Thx and hope every1 is having an awesome day!
Peace, love & chocolate cupcakes!