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Old 03-24-2011, 10:16 AM
preciselove preciselove is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 83

Originally Posted by RobFire View Post
If you break it down, making a new, close friend has few real differences to making a new, close lover:
  • Both can take time away from your primary lover
  • Both can have activities that include your primary lover
  • Both can involve complex emotional issues
Agree with these.

Originally Posted by RobFire View Post
The hang-up here is sex. And yes, sexual diversity can be VERY rewarding. I do not think you'll find many people on here to argue against that.
Sexual activities need to reoccur to be rewarding. Generally speaking. You may have some good memories, but they pale in comparison to the act of having sex with NRE. As such the sex is the driver for a lot of people, yet they usually say otherwise, because then it's not "love" or "poly" it's just typical sex like most people have.

Originally Posted by RobFire View Post
It's also not everything. Nor is it something that *needs* justification. Nor does its presence *need* to be separated from relationships or love.
It does need justification in my mind, because if the main reason you're doing something is the sex but you're saying otherwise then you should be able to defend your position so it's clearly "not mostly about the sex".

If you think most people are honest, even with themselves, when it comes to such things you probably need to learn a bit more about human behaviour. It of course doesn't apply to everyone, and some people are honest about it. I have no qualms with people that know what they want and are honest about it.

However when I see the love is infinite people and then ask some questions about their long term partners there are usually some 'issues' lurking there. I also do not think many people fully analyze a situation and work out what motivates them to do something. They may latch onto an idea that sounds nice in their head, but it's just that, a nice sounding thing that they feel good about. They'll even defend it like it's really "them" due to this nice feeling they get.
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