Hmmm... Very good post! While it doesn't apply to me, it definitely applies to the situation. One thing I've been feeling lately (lots of back and forths for everybody) is sort of that distraction. Sometimes I feel like talking about poly is eating up way too much of my mental energy. Jen has been very preoccupied with figuring things out for herself. Nothing ridiculous, but it is something I am noticing.
It probably has a lot to do with my jealousy too though. I tend to notice unfavorable things more than favorable right now unfortunately... Anyways, it's kind of the emotion too. For example, because Jen and I are in a stable relationship, there isn't that crazy outburst of emotion. When there is a lot of emotion, it's deep love, which isn't exactly flamboyant. When we're talking about partners etc, a lot of different emotions come up, and most are a little more in your face.
While I didn't see anybody else really posting good "answers" to the question, I figured I'd put my side up there as well.