Originally Posted by preciselove
Yah I have a whole lot of that. Regardless of what the girls say in our triad, it's always the male , the brainwasher, living the life of a king with his minions.
I ran into that even on these boards
a while back. I was accused of trying to "live out a harem fantasy", and much worse.
IRL I am frequently referred to as a pimp, an exploiter of women, and more.
And poly was Violet's idea - it took her quite a while to talk me into it, despite that fact that even the "OPP" in our house is HER idea (although it has not extended to all of them, Adrian is out with her log-distance BF tonight as she frequently is when he's in town, and even Violet herself has started looking sideways at one particular guy lately, lol). Lana (GF#1) lived with us as a friend and roommate for over a year before becoming part of our relationship. Adrian met the girls at work, knew about their relationship, fell for me, realized I was the guy they were talking about, and decided she wanted in too.
I didn't pursue any one of them - but I'm a pimp, a womanizer, living out a harem fantasy. :shrug:
Violet's Dad is a little out there himself, and frankly this was far from the most shocking thing she ever dumped on him, lol. No problem there - at first. But when we hit some real rough patches, he turned on me faster than Judas for all the silver in the world. You should see some of the things he said about me in Facebook messages and emails to her - shocking to say the least.
Lana's family found out almost by accident. Her mother was angry and frightened for about an hour - everyone ele was very accepting, more curious than anything - and her mother finally adopted an "if you're happy than that's what matters" attitude. So far so good there.
My family - hmm. We haven't "come out" to them. But I know they suspect something, since Lana has made it to one Christmas and two Thanksgiving's with us so far, as well as a few other trips that involved seeing them. They aren't asking, I'm not telling - yet. They are devout Mormons, and thus particularly allergic to anything that smells even faintly of polygamy. They are, however, extremely open and accepting people, and quite used to their eldest son being the black sheep and getting into all sort of crazy situations - and they've always supported me. So we'll see. I'm more concerned about my ex wife's family - also very good people, but also very Mormon. They also are my 6 year old sons caretakers, and I don't want issues there!
amobrazil, Kika (I think you're both part of the OP couple, yes?) - we feel your pain. We've been through it with our first unicorn, Anne - which turned us off to poly completely for a good 6 or 10 months. Things with Lana have been up and down, but more up than down - we've been very lucky with her and intend to be with her forever (and probably couldn't get rid of her if we tried anyway, LMAO). But Adrian (current gf#2) has been a very trying experience to say the least, and she likely won't be around much longer. This mess is hurting her terribly despite our efforts to help her, and it's been hell on all of is in different ways.
Although to back it up a bit - her mom was VERY accepting when she found out - supportive even. Weird, lol.
Anyway - in any relationship, and especially any breakup, there is pain and hurt and heartbreak. Poly opens new levels of love - and more opportunity for the bad stuff as well, which in our experience is amplified just like the good stuff.
As for America being ready - which parts? LOL - :shrug: