Thread: Coming out
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Old 03-23-2011, 09:50 PM
polynome polynome is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 5
Question How does being out work?

I'm new to practicing poly (my wife started her first non-monogamous relationship about a week ago) but I've known for some time that something like that (didn't have the word poly or the full thought) would be a way I could see living my life.

While we're probably not going to be "out" about our poly relationship for some time (I live in the Midwest and am about 80-90% sure my family would cut ties completely and hers would have some big hurdles to get over before things could be ok. Also think we'd probably lose a good deal of friends.) it's something that I want to actively consider for later, because I think it would be very liberating.

The one thing I'm not sure of is how does it work exactly? I can think of a million day-to-day situations where, with casual acquaintances, coworkers, etc. it seems like bringing up polyamory in an otherwise unrelated conversation ("what's your wife doing this weekend?" "oh she's visiting her lover" vs. "oh she's visiting a friend") is beating people over the head with information that they probably don't care to know and would instantly and dramatically turn the conversation toward poly.

I don't want to spend my life lying about who I am, but I don't want to spend it explaining what I am to everyone I meet either. For those of you who are already out, how does it work towards those not so close to you? Obviously my close friends and family would all know, or it wouldn't really be "out".
25, Married, Newly Poly
Wife currently in early-stage long-distance relationship, I'm currently still just with my wife.
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