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Old 03-23-2011, 02:08 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
t -- but aren't there times when one person in your poly relationships seems to dominate your thoughts and gets in the way of relating to the other(s) with whom you are also involved? For me, relationships can be so heady and all-consuming sometimes. How do poly people handle this?
Hey there NYC

I guess this is something pretty general - not specific to poly.
When there's something going on in our lives that requires/needs a lot of our mental resources, it's hard to give proper attention to anything else.

The trick for me at least is acknowledging this and calling time out. Then looking at whatever the resource hog is and asking if it REALLY deserves the level of priority I'm allowing it.

The answer to this may vary, because sometimes the need is there and sometimes it isn't. If it is, I don't mind sharing it with someone because at least that acknowledges that in the moment - they ARE an important consideration and that I'm trying to balance best I can.
If I discover that the conflictor is hogging more of my resources than is necessary or fair, via practice I've gotten much better at putting the silencer on it for the moment.
But that's just a skill that comes with practice.

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