Thread: Poly Curious?
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:03 PM
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Originally Posted by JRiverMartin View Post
There's nothing wrong with being a "secondary," but being offered the position can come off as the ultimate insult.

It can sound like, "Won't you be our toy when we want and need you and won't you please go away, quietly and quickly, when we don't?"

Empathize, empathize, empathize!

One thing that I've noticed is that many couples who are new to poly start out by seeking a third to be their girlfriend. Usually, they want that third to be available to only them and they expect the third to have a romantic sexual relationship with both members of the couple. Oftentimes, that third is there in order to enhance the primary relationship and is often treated as such. Also, the third is expected to follow the script of the primary relationship and rarely has an equal say in how the relationship works or moves forward.

I've known many many bi women who have been burned by such couples, so be sure to have some awareness, that's all.

And it's always worth posting my friend's HBB Flowchart
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