Originally Posted by Thespian
Believe me that it is possible to love two people, and for me it was the difference between the women that was so much part of it. So it was nothing that my wife was doing wrong, nor anything she was being that was the problem. I would not have wanted her to become more like my new love.
Anyway, just some thoughts from the other side.
Thanks, Thespian! You sound just like my husband in the quote above. He has told me that I was and am perfect the way I am and that was not why he fell in love with someone else. That helped me a lot in the very beginning because that was exactly what my first thoughts were: that I was inadequate and so he went looking.
I feel a lot of guilt for telling him that if he decided to stay with me then he cannot see A. (the woman he had the affair with) but I have had to come to terms with the fact that she represents so much betrayal and pain to me that I cannot even think her name without feeling pain. This is a NEED for me. She is clearly not going to be able to be our third, at least not anytime soon. I have been completely honest with hubby about this and I think he understands and although hurts, he has chosen me. We are taking this one day at a time and that is all we can do for now. I hope you and your love are doing well on your own journey. She still won't even talk about polyamory with you?