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Old 03-22-2011, 06:11 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Beodude123
One thing I see here a lot, is how people talk about the cultural view of sex. I keep hearing very negative things about how mainstream culture etc are stifling us, due to our sexual nature. Seems like a lot of people on here are kind of closed minded, saying that due to our biology, it's pretty much a closed case. If you aren't poly, you are wrong. This might be a bit extreme a view on my part, but the feeling is kind of here in some posts I see.


So I pose a question, what do you think of nature vs nurture? I know as far as traits and behaviors, that scientists have a hard time figuring out which is more dominant... I'd say it's pretty relevant here, in the poly / mono discussion. Discuss!

Redpepper
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beodude123 View Post
One thing I see here a lot, is how people talk about the cultural view of sex. I keep hearing very negative things about how mainstream culture etc are stifling us, due to our sexual nature. Seems like a lot of people on here are kind of closed minded, saying that due to our biology, it's pretty much a closed case.
There are many arguments for nature vs. nurture... would you be more specific about what you mean in regards to sex? Do you mean sex negative as opposed to sex positive? What do you mean by biology? and what do you mean by our sexual nature?

thanks.

Raven
Since I've had a few classes that deal with this issue, I'm going to throw out an analogy that's really helped me make sense of the whole nature / nurture deal.

Imagine that you are baking a cake. To make this cake, you need a lot of ingredients: flour, sugar, vanilla, eggs, milk, baking powder, etc. Then you cook the cake: it is mixed at a certain intensity for a certain amount of time, put in a certain kind of pan (glass or metal, round or square, deep or shallow), and cooked in an oven at a certain heat for a certain amount of time. When the cake is done, you notice that it has X trait. Because both ingredients and cooking are required to get a cake, it is very difficult to know if X trait was caused by the ingredients (i.e. genetics, or nature) or the way it was cooked (i.e. environment, or nurture). Nearly always, it's some combination of the two. Hopefully this helps a bit.

I'm certainly interested in what other people have to say - I'm not sure how much poly / mono is cultural and how much is inherent. I think there's probably a large influence of culture (cultures can vary a lot in what sorts of relationship arrangements are accepted and commonplace), but I also think that there's a lot of inherent influence, and I think the inherent influence varies more by person. IMHO, while cultural influence can be difficult to disrupt, it's easier to throw off a cultural influence than an inherent influence.

Redpepper
great analogy Raven. A combination by that analogy seems to make sense.

I really feel indoctrinated by culture when I go to the movies... I've seen two movies in two weeks that fed me the message that I should not dare venture away from monogamy and faithfulness to one partner or I will end up alone and unsuitable to be with anyone. If I do venture out of monogamy I better scurry back fast before losing the "one" person I love and committed to!

I just sigh and remember that I am smarter than they are.... still it makes me angry that they feed us that shit. No alternative, no discussion or willingness to see things any differently and offer a different ending...

I think I will post the names of the movies on the "Movies: That would have been better with a poly ending." thread http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...=movies+ending
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