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Old 03-22-2011, 12:56 AM
preciselove preciselove is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 83

Originally Posted by amobrasil View Post
You're so right. I myself was shocked and dismayed when my gf first approached me with the idea of poly. I was so conditioned to believe that love is jealous by nature, that I took great offense at her suggestion... But the idea simmered within me, and nearly a year later, I finally realized her intent was not to replace me but to build upon the foundation we already enjoyed. That's when I began to see the beauty of it. So, I can totally see how what you are saying is possible. (It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind anyway, right? Just kidding!!! lol)
Once you realize why we are monogamous is 99% down to social programming it makes you look at all the other programmings we have received. Too many people think their values are their own, when in fact they are merely what they were raised with.

The thing that makes me giggle is the people that go out looking for "new values" and new experiences. Then somehow rationalize their original values back into their life. "I went around the world, I saw all the cultures and religions, and you know what? I realize christianity is the right one". It's a powerful feeling in many people to conform to their childhood programmings, as nothing else feels "Right" like that does.

Originally Posted by amobrasil View Post
Yes, I feel the same way. I think we've been too focused on finding someone for the triad that we forgot that the process was supposed to be fun...
I was the same for a while. Always looking at the end result happy days where we are all together, baking cakes and throwing flour at each other "no you stop!" . It took us over 3 years to find the right one..... so yah. Just think, at least you've got love with one person, luckier than some.
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