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Old 09-18-2009, 07:31 PM
sweetie sweetie is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 62

I too am new to the forum, and relatively new to poly as well. We live in a very small town. A town where there are alot more people living a swinging lifestyle then you would think. We don't live in the lifestyle, but that's how it all began. What started out as casual and just having fun, has turned into so much more. None of us were looking for what we've found. I can't say for sure that we are the only people living a poly life here, but if I were to guess from the whispers and pointed fingers, that we are. It's okay to be married and have multiple partners, but a little different to be married and have just one person who is so intimately involved in all aspects of your life. People can be funny that way.

We don't live together. Sea and Tommyc live in their house across town, and I live in an apartment downtown. We spend every weekend together. That could be 2 days, 3 days, or sometimes even 4. We try to fit an entire "week" into our weekend. I have my own room there. "Our" granddaughter has her own room there. When some of our out of town children come to visit, they know that my room is mine, whether I'm there or not. It is as much my home as theirs. I do laundry, dishes, wash floors. I've helped Sea paint pretty much the entire house indoors. We've reno'd the kitchen and bathroom together. I just don't happen to live there during the week.

Going out is another matter entirely. When Sea and I go out shopping together, we will often discuss what's in the fridge "at home". Although we are both straight, we do give off the vibe of being a couple. How could we not, we are 2 of 3.

For a long time the three of us stopped going out to clubs/bars at night. We felt we couldn't be ourselves if we were out in public. Tommyc likes to kiss us both, and doesn't care who's watching. Sea and I were worried about working with the public and having stories or rumors getting back to our employers or God forbid our children. Now that our children know what our relationship is, we no longer have to worry about our behaviour being a reflection on them. As far as our employers go. Sea has checked with her company policy, and I'm not working right now. Tommyc doesn't care who knows.

We have since started going back out again at night. We can't spend all our time alone. I am a very social person, and as much I love spending time with them alone, we all need to spend time with other people. We go out as ourselves. Three people in a relationship. We are proud of who we are and what we share. We wear matching Claddah rings on our right hand. We have had people ask genunine questions. We had people ask ignorant questions. We have had people see us downtown during the week, and point their fingers at us, because they may have seen us out the previous weekend. We don't take those people home with us, so their opinion has no meaning for us. As long as the people that mean anything to you in your life, love you, the rest will be worked out. Everyone has their own level of experience and acceptance. If you can't accept my choices, then at least respect them, as I do yours. My 23 year old daughter has a new boyfriend. He's 37. A year ago, I would have lost it. Now, I just accept. I have a wait and see attitude. If she can be so accepting of our relationship, how can I not at least try to accept hers. So i'm reserving opinion at the moment.

It has been a wonderful learning experience for us all. It's hasn't all been great. We still have many issues to deal with, but we're doing it with open minds and open hearts. Sea and I have more issues with each other then Tommyc has with either of us, or both of us put together. Finding the forum has helped me to look into myself, and see where my insecurities are coming from. We've been doing this alone for 3 years, with no one to talk to. We have made huge errors in judgement. We go back and do it all over again. Sometimes we get it right, and sometimes we make the exact same mistake again. But we keep trying.
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