A life alien to your own (Our Blog)
This is going to be our blog, So I guess Ill start with our story.
My wife & I had talked in the past about having a partner sleep with us, to share what we had with someone new. Time went by & last year I had a hospital stay & actually died for a bit in the recovery room after a surgery. After the hospital stay was over I found myself not the same as before, it was like an alarm went off in my head that we were missing part of life & I started to notice things I hadn't before. I noticed several women & began to think back on those conversations. on Halloween of last year I went to an office meeting with a co worker & noticed a serious connection with her... We will call her "M". I spent the day with her & KNEW there was a connection, & M was strong enough to stand up & tell me something about it. So I discussed it with Heather, asking if she would still want to try that, after some conversation she said she would as long as there was rules about what could & could not happen. When it started it was just going to be a sexual relationship. I talked to M & asked if she would be interested in sleeping with us & after some thought she was ready for the talks to begin. I can't tell you how oddly everyone felt during those first 2 nights of talking. I was so scared I was damaging our lives.
We had several concerns, we knew she was young, we knew she had just left a relationship, we knew none of us had done anything like this before... But everyone was willing to try.
But after it was over rules were set & everyone became comfortable & it happened. Not long after my wife & I began to develop strong feeling for her & it seemed as though she was feeling the same for us, so several rules fell by the wayside as the nature of the relationship changed...
For several months we were all SO HAPPY, everyone was SO jealous of what we had, we were all content. We went out to eat together, She slept over often & I would watch over them while they slept & made sure they were safe, we even took a trip to Vegas that was a magic time I will never forget & don't want to.
It was like she completed a part of us we never knew was missing.
I found something new in myself, I ENJOYED watching over & protecting them, MUCH more than I ever expected.
It FILLED me with joy like never before to see them happy together, holding hands, whispering, running around the stores..
But it changed over time, M didn't feel the same, she IS young & is not ready to settle down & she does have that desire for a normal life & this was too far from normal for her, & I don't think she could have ever told her family (who she lives with now).
But I really thought she felt the same for both of us & was just scared or confused about the feelings she was having for one or both of us, I really thought it was one of those minor obstacles in a relationship that people get over & are stronger because of it.
But after 6 months we let her go. We never wanted to make her something she want & were very careful to never push her to do anything.
In the end we talked to her one last night & made our final offer... She could come live with our family, we would have her children if she wanted that one day & we would have an equal triangle relationship, but she said no.
We offered her everything we have & everything we are & she still left, even now, I just can't believe we lost. 2 people offer another person everything of themselves & would have loved her forever, but in the end she was not ready for that. I can understand & respect the desire for a normal life that she still wants to see other people & experiment with life, but it still hurts.
We made SURE to remain best of friends with her & she still comes & does family activities with us & the kids, but we still want more & would still pay ANY price for it. Heather & I have a LOT of love to share & we enjoyed having someone new to care for.
She said she was shy but seemed SO STRONG to me, one of the things she told me I will never forget is "I wasn't going to let myself pass up this chance to be with you"
When it was over we were DEVASTATED we tried to talk to our friends for comfort & support, but nobody understood. The closest friends listened & cared that we were hurting, but still didn't understand... & Then I would get the people who would ask things like "Why would you fuck up your life like that" which just made us feel worse.
After it was all over, I was the designated driver for her birthday party & she became VERY drunk, little did I know Heather was sitting at home getting very drunk too. So instead of bringing her home that night I took her home with me one last time. I spent the night running from bathroom to bathroom cleaning them up, but you have no idea how GOOD it felt to have them both their again to protect them & make everything ok, one more time.
I'm glad we found this forum, several of your stories have helped us understand & feel better, just knowing that were not alone in the world.
--- posted by Kris
"Imagine a life, alien to yours. In which your memories were not your own, but those shared by every other of your kind. Imagine the torment of that existence, no experiences to call your own."
"If it was all you knew, maybe it would be a comfort"
"What if you were to discover something different... Something better..."
Last edited by TeamD79; 03-21-2011 at 11:39 PM.