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Old 03-21-2011, 10:19 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,437

So, update time.

First, I still haven't heard from Raga about my stuff. The USB thing specifically I asked for about a month ago, and on the 24th of February he said he'd send it as soon as possible. Since then he hasn't given news unless asked for it, always saying he hasn't done it yet, and on the 15th even telling me he can't send it because he doesn't have the address.
So, I email him the address.
It is frustrating: for one thing I gave it to him in January and even checked before leaving Canada that he still had it and asked if he wanted me to give it again and he said no, and then he sent me an email that accused me of never giving it to him, with a connotation of "I'm waiting on you, jeez, you're taking your time" when he's the one who has been stalling it.
And on top of that, if he really didn't have the address, well I've been here since Feb 11th and asking for some of my stuff to be shipped since the day after that. I think if it took him a month to realise he had lost the address, he wasn't even trying to send it in the first place.

The "it's taking ages for him to send my stuff" is frustrating for a few reason. One, it's frustrating because I'm leaving in the beginning of May, and I'll basically be a hobo once in France (couchsurfing if you will) so I won't be taking any of my stuff, and I'd like to get to enjoy it before it's too late.
But most of all, I want to reach the "don't be in contact much anymore" stage that everyone says is necessary for the both of us, and as long as my stuff is with him, I have to stay in contact with him. Which leads me to believe he's not sending it because of that, because he wants to force our staying in contact, and that's annoying.

I was originally supposed to leave Canada at the very beginning of January. I had to delay it by more than a month due to vaccinations for my pets, etc. At the time, I seriously considered going first and having my pet sent to me a month later. Pretty much everybody was telling me to do that, leave as soon as possible, taking almost nothing with me, and having Raga send me stuff.
I refused to do that with my pet, because I was worried if I did he would use her to annoy me, blackmail me or torture me, keeping her with him and refusing to send her while pretexting various things. Or simply procrastinating as he's so prone to doing.
It wasn't the only reason, I also didn't want to be away from her, I thought the trip would be less traumatic for her if she was with me, and she's never been too attached to Raga so I didn't think it would be fair to her to leave her behind.

Still, I'm really relieved that I listened to my instinct, as although I hoped to be wrong (I even felt guilty for suspecting these things), he's definitely proved me right in the last month and a half.

Pretty much right away (so, a month ago), Seamus said I should see a lawyer to make Raga send me my stuff (it's part of our separation agreement, which he signed, that he's supposed to send me my things) but I didn't want to resort to that. I wanted us to stay in good terms, and it seemed petty to go that far. Seamus told me it would be the only way to ever get my stuff, and I'm afraid he's right. I hate to do it, but I think I'm going to have to...

I mean, some of the stuff there is basic stuff, like my underwear! (Before leaving I decided to wash clothes and forgot them in the dryer. I was in such a rush because for a month everyone had been telling me how terrible a person I was for not leaving a month ago, and that it was mean to Raga, etc, so I wanted to leave the apartment to him as soon as humanely possible. As a result I left a lot of basic things behind that I really need. And I'm not in a situation to buy them again, I still don't know how I'm going to scrape enough money to buy my ticket out of the US).

Anyway, that's it for the shipping issue, next post will be about the St Patrick party I went to.

EDIT: since I'm at ranting... another thing that frustrates me is that I couldn't bring my ebook reader's charger along, and not because I forgot it, but because I couldn't find it. I think he might have taken it with him to his parents' place, or used it and put it somewhere, and it's annoying that he's been using it more than me when it's mine and his didn't come with one. He can charge his reader USB-wise on a computer too, so it's annoying that he'd use my charger. And not send it back to me when he noticed he had it or after I asked for it.

Last edited by Tonberry; 03-21-2011 at 10:34 PM.
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