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Old 03-21-2011, 06:41 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

I'm reminded over and over again that poly brings to light all of those dark things within us that we keep hidden away from the world. There are long stretches of everything going along smoothly and then all of a sudden I'm confronted with something that I haven't had to deal with (at least on a conscious level) for a long time.

The hiccough this weekend was all about my self esteem and likely what deep down I really think about myself. It's been a reminder to be kind to myself and that I will always judge myself far more harshly than anyone else will. I've projected what I think is going on in my husband's girlfriend's mind based on what I think she should feel after the way I think I've behaved towards her. RP, you're likely right, she probably really doesn't put the energy into thinking much about me at all one way or the other.

There are other things that I know are hiding in the back of my mind...stay tuned for the next freak out I've got to say that I'm glad that these emotional sessions are getting fewer and farther between. I don't like being the emotional basket case but when it does happen I'm thankful that I am safe to let it out. In letting it out I can let it go.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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