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Old 03-21-2011, 06:12 PM
habitat habitat is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 20

Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
This bit stuck out at me. Have you communicated this fear to him? He sounds like a pretty decent person, who seems to have gotten caught up in NRE and the moment.

Boundaries are a give and take. He's taken already by stepping over the boundary. What do you need to feel more comfortable with his relationship with Ladybug? Ask that of him, and then set a time to review that boundary, if he feels it to be chafing. The review could be a week, two weeks, a month down the line, but it will allow you time to process, and also gives him a date that he knows such boundaries will be reviewed by, so he's not feeling trapped by you.

As for how upset you should be ... Well, you don't sound too upset with the transgression itself, more the implications of it. (i.e. continued disrespect) So, if it feels natural to let it go, then do so. If you need some time to get over it, take that time. Everyone deals with hurt differently, so don't feel like you have a quota of upsetness that you must fill.
Thanks, TruckerPete.

You are spot-on about the "implications of the transgression" being my biggest issue. I'm more or less just scared that this means his relationship with Ladybug is *woah* - full speed ahead, now that they're actually having sex. I don't want it to be too difficult for him to consider how I might feel about certain things, in the excitement of this new, super fun, omgiwantyounow thing that they have going. We've always been very supportive of each other, and his being unable to respect an agreement we made in the face of pressure, without any discourse, scares me. And, given that he can't/won't agree not to engage in this act with her (even just temporarily), it does make me feel less important than the act itself, which feels real crummy.

He won't stop having intercourse with her (in fact, they're decidedly going to do it tonight). I don't think it's fair of me to ask, either. I don't know.

I'm not sure what I'm thinking, since it's definitely not as though we don't partake in mutual expressions of sexuality every day that we're together. We certainly do. And it's great and wonderful and all that, but I feel threatened.

Last edited by habitat; 03-21-2011 at 06:16 PM.
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