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Old 03-21-2011, 05:27 PM
habitat habitat is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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Quote:
TL4everu2
No worries. Maybe I missed it. (I do that from time to time)

Anyway, it really edpends on WHAT the boundary was. Also, boundaries...are there for a reason yes, however, they should be "fluid" and everyone needs to be open to the possibility that they COULD be crossed. Not that they SHOULD be crossed, but they COULD be crossed. Obviously, preferance would have it that they NOT be crossed, but it can and often DOES happen. So have forgiveness in your heart. If it happens more than once...Replace forgiveness with distrust and end the relationship, or get used to it.
It's not that I don't recognize that the boundaries should change to fit our needs. Obviously, as I said, that particular boundary was clearly ill-fitting by that point. But we created the boundary out of mutual respect for our feelings. We explicitly stated that we would each take responsibility and open a dialogue to change the boundaries, as needed, *before acting*. My problem is that I wasn't warned and I didn't get to express my feelings beforehand.

I do forgive him, of course. He is wonderful and I understand his needs. I just want to make sure that everyone's comfortable with what's going on.
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