I read the initial post, and none that followed. Sorry...It's the ADD.
Anyway, My wife and I are open about our poly-ness. We don't hide it from anyone, however....if someone who could potentially harm our family dynamic, began asking questions, we would be (understandibly) guarded and try to "hide" the truth, until said peron had also revealed their true reason for the inquisition. If they have heinous intentions, or possibly COULD, we would wait to reveal or open fully, until we had info which could potentially harm them, as much as this info could harm US. Basically, if someone else wants to know, they have to be in our close circle, or virtually have no reason to want to harm us in any way, or be unable to harm ous in any way.
Question, why only unicorns? Is it an OPP? (One Penis Policy) Or is your gf welcome to seek out men as well?
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...