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Old 03-21-2011, 02:45 PM
amobrasil amobrasil is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 16

redpepper, Ready2Fly, preciselove - Thank you all for your insight and advice.

redpepper - After these painful experiences, we decided that, if someone becomes interested in us, we would always discuss with her the issues regarding her coming out. That decision actually spared us another bad experience. A girl we met online liked us, but had not thought through the family issues until we brought them up. Upon discussion, she quickly realized she wasn't yet ready to face the wrath of her parents, both devout Catholics. She gave up on the idea and we soon lost contact... I applaud you for standing your ground, coming out to our parents was also a painful experience. The triad was my gf's idea, but her ultra-religious parents completely ignored her and came directly after me because, in their own words, I'm the man and the "head" of the house. (This, of course, infuriated my gf, who was not going to accept being trivialized.) They had harsh words for me ("immoral and deviant", "going to hell", "doomed to destruction") and even blamed my gf's bisexuality on me, which I found ridiculous. They even asked me to stop her from being bi. They do not talk to me anymore, but they still maintain a relationship with their daughter, albeit strained, where her every word and action is viewed with suspicion and disapproval.

Ready2Fly - You are absolutely right about the social prejudice. And I think it's a great idea to keep things quiet until the comfort level rises. Thanks!

preciselove - It's interesting what you said, because my gf and I've been thinking exactly the same thing. (She says these girls "disgust" her, and they need to stop being mama's girls and grow some backbone.) All the girls I mentioned were excited when exposed to the idea, but quickly withered away when they realized they would lose the moral support of their parents. The trick, then, would be to find and connect with a strong, level-headed person who is not afraid to live her own life as she wishes. But these persons seem to be rare. Over time, we've become friends with many bi girls on okcupid, but most of them have not even come out to their parents yet, for fear of rejection and retribution. This makes us think that quality is indeed rare, that finding a strong, quality person is not a matter of looking harder... We're therefore thinking of stopping our search and simply concentrating on friendships, without any ulterior motive or manipulation. Perhaps, in time, strong friendships could translate to romance.
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