More updates and what not...
I have continued to talk openly with my friend. He has made his final decision to see if this will work. He said that he can't make any promises as of yet that he will be able to handle it and continue. But that he is open to the possibility of this actually working out. He said currently he is only agreeing so that he can have time with me, but if he cannot handle it he will say so. I am so grateful to him for being so open minded about this. He also understands that our communication will be limited for the time being while I approach my fiance with this.
Now, the time will be Saturday night to tell my fiance. He is in pain and is confused as to what our future is. We have been sleeping separate for almost 2 months now. He has seen the transitions and emotions I have been going through, but he hasn't even asked. It got so bad... I didn't want to believe what my heart was telling me. I crumbled and just wanted to die than to think that I could be such a monster. He saw my angst... and now he is witnessing the clouds parting... but he still doesn't know why. I will have to do a lot of damage control with him. He will be the harder one to convince. All I can do is pour my heart out to him and once the shock begins to subdue hopefully he will want to dicuss the possibilities.
As for other partners... I am more open to my friend having another partner if this goes well. Being that he lives out of state and that my time with him in person would be every other weekend... I worry about his lonliness. He may need another companion. My only thing about that is she must know about the situation and accept me as part of his life. We will be a package deal. With my fiance... not so much. Mainly because I have spoken with him before about bringing other women in and he absolutely did not want to have sex or be involved with anyone but be. I believe him to be very mono and rather like that about him. If in time he were to change his opnion on the topic. I will be open to disscussing the possibilities of such.
PS. Mono, I told my friend about you in hopes that he would contact you to get a little insight given that you two will basically be in the same position. But, he said he doesn't need to at this point. I am curious however... would you mind telling me what do you get out of your relationship? What are your benefits? What are somethings that have troubled you?