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Old 03-21-2011, 04:52 AM
walterherbert walterherbert is offline
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 3

Thank you all for your kind responses. GroundedSpirit, that makes perfect sense to me. I was to hung up on the terminology, and made what should be a simple matter of the heart in to an overly complicated mess. I do that a lot. I really like the concept you mentioned of living with out labels. I've applied it to other areas of my life, it seems so natural here as well.

nycindie, I think you touched on the heart of my dilemma. I had thought of love in one way for so long, that I had thought it to be singular. Lately, I have been questioning that a lot. It makes sense for love to be shared, not given and taken. If something makes me happy, I want to share it with everyone, not just those who are closest to me.

I do think that it is possible that I am getting caught up in NRE. I don't lust for this new woman in my life, instead I find myself admiring her mind, and the conversations we share. Also she is very affectionate, which is something I've always adored. Your words certainly helped me put my thoughts in to more order.

As for my wife, I've talked to her about it only once, and briefly. The woman I am falling for has been a mutual friend of ours for years. Both my wife, and her have at different points in time told me they have a crush on each other. Neither has ever acted on it, its just there, and I'm fine with it. If they did want to embrace it, it wouldn't bother me because I trust, respect and care deeply for both of them. I would just like to be keep in the loop if something did happen. That said, the one time I brought up my "crush" to my wife she was offended. She knows that the other woman is in an open relationship, and was afraid that she would try to steal me away from her. I know that she isn't that type of person, but I wasn't about to try to argue with her about it. So I let it go. Sense then my feelings have continued to grow, but I've been holding them back. I won't cheat, I would rather be honest and a mess, than deceitfully embrace this. I know our friend isn't that type of person either. I don't want to hurt my wife either. I would rather remain friends and married, that try to force the issue create heart ache for all. I guess I just don't want to lose what I have with either of these terrific ladies. That, and perhaps more importantly to understand what it is that I'm feeling so I can live in a way that is true to myself.

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