So happy to hear, Handmaiden!
I think the name for this thread is chosen aptly. You now you want something, but are not entirely sure what it is. And that's perfectly okay. It might be your guy turns out to be the thing you want, or it might be that besides him, you want something or someone else. Am I reading this thread right if I understand that you are interested in non-monogamy, but not sure about polyamory?
"Resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems the root of our spiritual disease."
"In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper - list people, institutions and principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself why you are angry."
"In most cases it was found out that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, including sex, were hurt or threatened. We were sore, burnt-up." Alcoholics Anonymous, 64-65.