Again thank you, JMR. The questions you've posed have helped me gain insight into my own insecurities. Tommyc has never made me feel anything but loved and respected. There is no reason for my insecurities.
I have to admit the word contraint makes me uncomfortable. Not because I don't believe your point is valid. It certainly is. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have spent so much time thinking about it. For me, it's a word that implies control, and I don't like to think of myself as controlling. It's not something I can dismiss easily.
Reading your replies has reminded my why I was so happy to find this forum. I'm looking forward to showing Sea and tommyc your replies. It will open up a new discussion for us.