Originally Posted by walterherbert
......... I know that polyamory is quite literally a love for many, so I guess my question is how do you make the distinction between a love and a crush? Before it seemed like what I was feeling had to be a crush by default, but now I can't believe that. Is the distinction different, or perhaps more clear in the poly community then in that of the mono? I feel like I'm falling somewhere in between.
I think that in order for you to answer any of the questions you've put forth you have to get some clear definitions down. Preferably in writing
We all toss around a lot of terms like crush, infatuation, love, etc but when we actually sit back and try to understand them in context we discover we don't even have a clear fixed definitive of the words ! And lacking that, how can we possibly get an accurate answer to a question such as about 'loving' someone etc.
But to take a totally different track - how would it sit if I suggested that it really doesn't even matter.
As we go through life we come in contact with others. With some of these we discover some 'connection'. That feeling that there's something we need to explore about each other. There's some lesson in there for us.
Sometimes it's nothing but sexual tension/curiosity. If we pursue it, it flashes in the pan and burns out quickly. Sometimes that's all we want - but we get more. And there's endless permutations possible. And we can't do a damn thing about it - save to choose to explore or ignore. Once we choose, it will be what it will be. We're just along for the ride
So pick your labels as you will. It really doesn't matter. If you can have it make some sense to yourself - and that makes you feel better - awesome.