I actually spoke to him of my concerns about maybe this is partly me trying to make him more dominant. He asked if that was all it was, and I said I thought not, but it may have something to do with it. We've been researching stuff we can do and so far he's fine with everything I've said I would like.
So I read your comment and I've been worrying about it! We had some play today and afterwards we talked about it, about what worked and didn't and I asked if he felt uncomfortable about anything. There was only one thing and that was the mechanics of something. So I kept worrying about this idea of me changing his sexuality... and I brought it up. So basically he said that he would much rather experiment with me (and he does find it fun, just not really a huge turn on atm, but it depends on what we're doing) than have me go to someone else for it. There is a huge amount of trust I have in him that makes me able to explore this with him that I won't have with someone else. The thread is the one started by dingedheart about the discovery of photos and emails. While I know that I have my children's best interests at heart and would NEVER be so careless it's still an example of what can go wrong if you're "outsourcing" for that kind of thing. So yeah... he's basically said he wants to do this with me, and he will refuse to do anything he doesn't feel comfortable with (and as I said I'm not particularly hardcore so most of the stuff that makes him uncomfortable also makes me uncomfortable).
About last night... there was no one there that I was interested in, my partner was rather relieved to hear that. He asked if I still want to do it and I said right now no, but it may come up again. We're still talking about it. If nothing else, we're much more open and communicative about this stuff now!