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Old 03-20-2011, 08:01 AM
walterherbert walterherbert is offline
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 3
Default to Love or to Crush

I've been doing a lot of reading about polyamory this past month, and coming from a strong monogamous background I find myself at times questioning what it is that I think and feel. Having never been in a poly relationship yet now learning a great deal about it, I feel like I am open to its possibilities. I guess you could say I'm poly curious.

I started looking into poly because of a new relationship that entered my life. I've been in a serious committed mono relationship for a little over 7 years now, and everything is great. She is a great person, I love her dearly, and couldn't imagine not having her as a part of my life. Even so, these last few years I've noticed myself developing what I would call crushes. I've had a few women enter my life who I've started to develop strong feelings for and I've known, or at least thought I knew that I couldn't be falling in love because I love my wife entirely.

Now here I am again in this situation, but it is stronger than ever before. The way that we speak, the things that we do, the way that I feel when I am around this woman seems to mirror the way my wife and I got together. I've been telling myself that it must be just a crush, but in truth I think it is something more. I know how she feels about me, but with my preconceived notions of love I'm not sure entirely sure what it is I'm feeling. I know that polyamory is quite literally a love for many, so I guess my question is how do you make the distinction between a love and a crush? Before it seemed like what I was feeling had to be a crush by default, but now I can't believe that. Is the distinction different, or perhaps more clear in the poly community then in that of the mono? I feel like I'm falling somewhere in between.

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