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Old 03-19-2011, 12:07 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I find it interesting that you are so concerned about being friends with her... I hear you saying it, but I don't understand... I relate it to me in my dynamic in that I am not all that close with your husband. We talk when we see each other and I always know he is there if I need to talk to him or feel like talking to him, but we just hang really. I don't feel any "vibe" or any concern from him and I hope he doesn't from me either... because there isn't anything there but the acknowledgement that he is in your life... .
I want to be liked. For the most part if someone doesn't really want to spend time with me because we have nothing in common it really doesn't phase me and I just move on. But I think this is one of these "supposed to" instances. Somehow it seems that if we're both in a relationship with the same person we're supposed to like each other. I hate the "supposed to" thing. I put a lot of value on letting things develop with people naturally and yet I feel this internal pressure to make something out of nothing in this case.

I just wonder how much of this you have created. Maybe the "vibe" you are feeling is self created? Maybe she is just into hangin' also? Maybe she wishes you would just leave it be and is hiding from you so that you have no choice but to leave it alone? Maybe she is just content to know you are there and that he loves you and you share a life together and kids etc. and that you are important to him. That's it. You just don't have enough "click" to warrant anything more going on between you at this time. That could change or not... time will tell. I dunno, I think for me it's better to concentrate on who in my life does click than who doesn't and keep the door open for possibility.
I'd just like to know where I stand for sure. I have a really bad internal dialogue which tends to blow things out of proportion, especially when other things aren't going terribly well. I also have a way of imposing situations from my past onto current events. I can very quickly go back to the headspace of the 13 year old girl who didn't fit in.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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