I’ve lost count of how many posts I’ve put in, but right now the Word Doc I keep all these things in is pushing 50 pages, and 80,000 characters...and only 17000 words.
So either I’m talking too much, or not getting to the point fast enough, or maybe I’m a little slow. After all, I’ve been at this for about 8 months now, and I have managed to cover about 5 years of history…which means in another 6 weeks and 14000 characters I’ll be caught up.
Of course at 4.2 characters per word, I guess I’ll be keeping using small words. “You’ll like this LUKE...It’s S I M P L E!!!”. Or was that for my sake?
I digress, as usual. We’re gathered here at this blog , separated by space, on our own time, and reading at our own pace to learn about K, my first gf in the poly context. Hmm, should’a put a spoiler alert on that since now you know how this story will end...or how the post will end anyways... the story will only middle.
Last year I went across the country for 6 months for work. A long way from home, and had to leave the family behind. I got to see a lot of Canada and the US on the way to an from, and got to meet a few poly’s here and there and everywhere...even dropping in on the Poly Pride Picnic for a little while in Central Park. I may be repeating this part of the story, but I don’t care. It was fun, and I’d go again in a heartbeat...but I’d take the family with me.
Anyways, unlike previous trips where I wasn’t anywhere long enough to figure out the road signs, much less the dating scene, 6 months in one place should’ve allowed me plenty of time to meet someone and be able to carry on at least a semi-serious albeit temporary relationship with a willing poly or at least non-monogamous minded partner...yeah, sure. Well, what ‘should happen’ in my mind, and what actually happens aren’t ever exactly similar. (See previous post about dating sites)
And actually it wasn’t just the dating sites, it was also whatever universal karma I seem to have stepped in along the way, and was stuck to my shoe making that annoying squeak sound on every 2nd footfall. (Not to be confused with anyone with any similarly alias on this or any other forum)
Near as I can tell, one fate makes online dating for men impossible (not fair to blame it on a fate I know, since it’s really the fault of a lot of lying douchebag men, married or not) ...as mentioned previously. So not many responses.
The second is in cahoots with cupid, and her job is to frustrate the process of blocking prospects by hooking them up with others. So anytime someone did answer, and maybe seemed interested and interesting, they’d suddenly become unavailable due to a sudden case of monogamous boyfriend. This was so common, I could practically set a calendar to it, and I started putting it in my OKC profile since lonely women looking for serious bf’s seemed to have pretty good luck just by going for a beer or two with me.
The third fate had been dogging me since the last time I was across the country when we were talking swinging, and had the no naked fun rule. Her job is to destroy morale by making the person and possibilities you’d been looking for the entire trip appear just as desired, but only when it’s so close to the end of time remaining that it just becomes a tease! The last time, a 2 month trip, the lovely lady finally showed up a week before I left, with only one evening that was ever available to actually get to know her. DOH!
So fates’ 1, 2, and 3 where going about their business foiling my efforts at every turn, until it was so close to the end of my trip that I pretty much gave up on anything happening there. I did my moderating on the forum (which took some pretty serious conflict resolution at that time), practiced guitar (as much as such noise can be called practice) while listening to endless repeats of nauseating teen drama’s on Much Music, and mostly awaited the day that I could finally return home.
And then out of the blue, last St. Patrick’s day, I got one of those extra-rare messages on OKC. It wasn’t a reply, it was a first contact. What can I say...forward women work for me.
Chatting going well, and time being a luxury I could ill afford to waste, we arranged for a meeting that night...exceedingly fast by either of our standards, but what else is there to do on St. Patty’s day but go out? And that’s how I met your Aunt Robin!
No, I’m not going to jerk this thread around for 5 seasons, it was K. And we hit it off immediately. Neither of us could put our finger on it, but there was that spark, that connection. The beginnings of the feelings I’d been searching for during this long venture into poly. And here she was, a willing poly-minded, gheeky and gheek loving, attractive woman who looked at me and also saw the possibilities...and out of my 6 months, I had less than 30 days left in town...”WTF Fate #3, just Chain me Gently with a Fucksaw!!!”
Yeah, y’all (read: 3 of you) were just waiting to see if I’d actually say it, weren’tcha!