You certainly bring up some good points nycindie. Things I need to think about. But I am going to disagree partially with this statement:
Originally Posted by nycindie
Perhaps the infatuation you felt was more about being attracted to the situation of a man cheating than it was to the man himself. There could be some fear surrounding the idea of another man being more available to you -- which is what is possible in an open, honest relationship.
I don't agree that if I am involved with someone who is open, honest, in a poly relationship with their partner would necessarily be more available to me. They may have their primary partner whose needs need to be met, they may also have kids which may be a priority as well. Or work, hobbies, etc. When RobFire and I were practicing poly, I had begun instant message chatting with another man who was interested in me, I was interested in him as well. He was married, but he and his wife were practicing poly, so they were open with each other. She knew me and liked me. But, he seemed to have a time resource issue. He worked a lot, and she had needs from him (for example help with a project or something around the house), and they had a child. Often he was not available because he had to tend to her needs. That is ok, I am not criticizing that. She is his wife and primary partner and that is how it should be. I was the secondary. So I don't necessarily think that those who are more open and honest would necessarily have more available time than someone who was cheating.
But, again, you bring up some interesting points for me to think about, and I appreciate your posting them.