Yeah, I read about what happened to Redpepper and Mono. I thought about that, but I'm thinking about it harder now that you brought it up.
Thumper read this and told me I should act as comes naturally to me. I'm not much of one for public grab-assery, but I like to touch and hold hands and show other forms of physical affection on a pretty frequent basis. Thumper and I always touch each other, rest our heads on each other's shoulders, that sort of thing. T-Rex and I are the same way. That's how I am with my daughter, too, actually.
I'm not a touchy-feely person... except with them.
Of course, if I made it clear by my actions that I am the one T-Rex is interested in sexually, that would help prevent a situation like that with Mono and Redpepper. If Thumper is present and demonstrates his friendship with T-Rex and his approval of him as a partner for me, then he won't look like some poor schmuck whose wife is slutting around on him.
So, there's benefit to all of us acting like we usually do.
I suck at pretending. It makes me ill at ease and feels disrespectful to both men. If either wants me to, that's a different story. T-Rex is not out to his family about me, but his mom is Catholic and they all live out of state. I don't think he's had to lie about it or anything.
It makes me feel weird that he's deliberately keeping it quiet, but he sees it as a private matter and not one having any effect on day to day life. He would have to make a point of bringing it up.
I know that if there were a good reason to, T-Rex would deal with the fall out from owning up to our relationship to his family. I have great confidence in the strength of his character. As it makes it easier for him not to, I let it go. He is very fond of his mother, and I think he'd rather spare her the stress.
We don't see Thumper's family often. I have no idea how they would respond. His mom can be a bit of a crazy bitch, but Thumper has broken off all contact with her for stretches spanning years. She may know that she can't push him. I'm pretty sure he'd tell her to shut the fuck up if he had to.
In fact, it's likely that part of him would relish the opportunity. Still, I don't want our little girl exposed to arguments like that. She has what may be an anxiety disorder related to a number of losses and deaths in the family when she was a toddler.
She comes first, always.
Thanks. The dialogue is really helping me clarify things in my head. Being in the situation may prove different than talking or thinking about it, but I am a big fan of internal consistency and understanding my own motives and point of view. I will be able to act from a solid place, rather than trying to figure things out that I should already know.
Our friends are coming over to game tonight. T-Rex usually stays after for sexy times. I'll probably bring this up, though only in brief, so he knows my thoughts.
Thumper is pretty dyslexic, otherwise he'd be posting here too. It takes him a lot of work to write, whereas I just sit down and volumes flow out of my fingertips.
I got to teach my daughter's first grade class about the solar system today. It was pretty awesome. I had animations and a virtual fly-through set up on the interactive whiteboard. The kids were really into it.
Hinge of a V relationship with my husband (Thumper) and boyfriend (T-Rex). Also, mother of a 6 y/o girl by my husband.
My poly story begins here
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