I remember our posts pokey. I dreaded having to tell them, but now I am glad to be able to settle in again without feeling like I have been deceptive. It feels better than ever.
I have been very sad though at times. It is passing though. With time things are beginning to happen to indicate it will be okay.
Last week I brought my parents flowers from the farmers stand I go to and gave my mum a back pack I have that I know she likes. My Dad thanked me for the flowers but I heard nothing from my Mum until last night. She had given back some items of ours from the property we share and we had heard from the lawyer that she is waiting to make an appointment to sign the property over to them. I was feeling very sad and hopeless at that point but decided to reach out to my Dad and ask him out for coffee. He agreed to after the weekend as he will be away. Later that night my Mum emailed and thanked me for the items I sent and asked if she could come too.
It's a small step, but a step. It's in public so I am hoping that will find away to control the emotions that come up. Hopefully.
I feel as if I am doing what they want in signing the property over, but I would rather have peace than property. Besides, if there is peace then the chances of ever going there again are greater. I wouldn't want to go there if things stayed cold and silent between us. We had such good times there and Mono was included. Maybe we can get back to that? Maybe not... I think there is a better chance the latter if I do as I'm told this time... and cross my fingers that it will be a win win situation.
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