Originally Posted by nycindie
Still, that he feels it is permissible for you to have have sex with someone, with the idea that only your body is engaged in sharing physical acts, and yet not acceptable for you to let in love, caring, respect, and affection from someone seems exactly like ownership to me. And what beautiful, wonderful possibilities he wants to keep from you! That is miserly, stingy, and selfish. It relegates you to be open with only one aspect of your being, like a toy. Basically he is claiming to own your "heart," which apparently he deems more important but yet it's a turn-on if your pussy gets passed around. How sad. I would think that if you love someone you would be happy to see others also direct love toward them, not just that they use you to get off. This is a highly disrespectful attitude toward your humanity and your womanhood, in my opinion, and why people who are okay with swinging and yet not poly puzzle me. And I say this as someone who has nothing against casual sex, just to be clear. But it's the attitude that colors everything.
maybe she likes her pussy being used as a toy and passed around because it turns her man on?
I think sometimes men think women are like them and their genitals are like them. Men put things in and that is a different power dynamic than taking in. I echo NYCindie in that I would feel controlled and used, but maybe this is not what is going on.
My Leo likes to go to swinger parties and watch his wife get fucked by different men. He totally gets off on being a voyeur and hearing about her and my stories. He believes that pussy is boss and that we are empowered. He couldn't believe that I thought I was used. Didn't occur to him in the least. He would never use women I don't think. His repect is far too high. If a woman were to want to have sex with him he would consider it a huge honour. He had not thought men would see it any other way. Na´ve perhaps, but it made me realize my worth to him. Mono and PN treat me the same way. I would not pick men any other way now. In a swiniging scenario I just wouldn't know where the men were coming from and wouldn't do it for that reason. I have seen too much and been through to much to think otherwise now.