I just want let LR know..I totally agree with how you explained everything. I have been coming back to read all these post and see whats new.
Ding..your whole story breaks my heart...it really does.
And to the rest of you...I do understand some of the revenge factor..at least for me I can't find peace among myself if I don't get to at least once say what I truely feel about something...no do I carry on like a raging moron...no...but I need the sarcastic revenge to break the ice of my anger to even begin the healing/empathy/sympothy phase...thats just me...I am not sure thats how he is. Like him and that hook...see I laugh when I read that cause if I was in his shoes...I would buy one and mail it to her( not right away as she is in no state emotionally but soon) and say something like..so when do I get to use this on you...followed by the select words he had spewed...and then a week later send a note saying okay my anger is done and that I would really like to figure this out...for better or worse we have kids together..we need to come to common ground. And then my disclaimer would be...I am sincerely sorry for the sarcastic letter a week before but I need to release my anger and I felt since you were the one I was angry at...you got it.
Maybe I am wrong maybe I am sick but thats truely how I deal with anger...never do I get physical nor will I ever!